The Buckingham Hotel Buxton. Three star accommodation in the peak district (Latest News)

SMILEY STUFF

Archived News - Stuff that made us smile yesterday n the day before that

Here's sum stuff that made us grin more recently:

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From the The Caterer and Hotelkeeper's Vaults comes this tale of dark superstition, brought to light in the 17/4/07 issue:

Mr John Knight, son of a hotel proprietor at Netley Abbey, tried to break a sequence of thirteens by getting married on 14th April.

He and his bride Miss Audrey Taylor met just thirteen months ago, and when engaged went up to London on the thirteenth of last month (March) to buy furniture. They rode in a number thirteen railway carriage and left the train at platform thirteen at Waterloo. There were thirteen parcels of furniture, and the last of the packages arrived on thirteenth.

Mr and Mrs Knight thought they had dodged that thirteen on the 14th, but when they left the church they discovered there were thirteen in the bridal party

(Caterer & Hotelkeeper 17 April 1936 - no doubt the hotel got balmed for that!!!!)
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This Week's NHS Update:

A man in a hospital bed & wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth & nose.

"Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles Black"?

Nurse raises his hospital gown & holds his man hood in one hand & his testicles in the other hand, she takes a close look and says, "There is nothing wrong with them sir".

Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "Thanks for that it was wonderful, but listen very closely and very carefully........

ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK??
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Even Worse than The Chuckle Brothers: NO APPETITE FOR ETIQUETTE

A new survey from the Queens’ College Catering and Conferences has revealed that some diners are lacking when it comes to knowing how to behave in a formal situation. Most scored when it came to the basics – eg, 87% knew their bread plate is on the left (they just didn’t know which side was their left!!) and 80% knew how to eat soup properly (tip the bowl away and spoon towards the back of the bowl since you ask).

But many were stumped when it came to how to eat spaghetti (twirl on a fork on the edge of the plate) or bread a roll (break bit by bit, and butter as you go). Fortunately, help is at hand from Pietro Ferri, dining etiquette expert at Queens’ College (you knew he’d have a name like that).

Mr F then tells us that a wine glass shud never be more than half-filled (otherwise itz considered rude…think most wud take the contrary view!). He also says

“If a lady gets up ‘to powder her nose’, the male host should stand up as she does and do the same on her return”.

- which cud explain why Kate Moss’s other half Pete Doherty is so skinny – he’s never got time to eat his food as he’s up n down all evening!

(sourced from Caterer & Hotelkeeper 5/4/07 – they also provided the Charlie punchline…sniff, sniff!)

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2007/08 Season

1 game left... D Day at Derby

Once again I'm car sharing transport to Northern games with Trevor, our much respected Chairman (Northern Royals). If you’re a Royal and up in these parts why not join the Northern Royals (shared traveling/priority/etc) – Drop Trev a line at Nothern Royals

GARN URRRRRZZZZZ

Royals Mad

2007/08Season

The regular season concluded on 26 April and The mighty Bucks made it into the Play-Offs - looking to attemp a 3rd consecutive promotion - from the Unibond Premier League...into the Blue Square Northern...which is below the Blue Square Premier (Conference)...which is directly below League Two!!! Unfortunately they lost in the final, but did win superbly at Witton to reach the final

Tues 29 April - play-off (1leg only):

Witton Albion 0 v Buxton 0 (Buxton win 6-5 on penalties!!!!)

Sat 3 May - play-off final

Gateshead 2 Buxton 0 (Gateshead promoted)

UniBond Premier Division 2007/2008 - final table

1st = promoted
2nd - 5th = playoff

	Team Name	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts
1	Fleetwood Town	40	28	7	5	81	39	42	91
2	Witton Albion	40	27	8	5	84	28	56	89
3	Gateshead	40	26	7	7	93	42	51	85
4	Eastwood Town	40	20	9	11	61	45	16	69
5	Buxton	40	20	8	12	60	50	10	68
6	Guiseley	40	19	10	11	65	43	22	67
7	Marine	40	19	4	17	70	65	5	61
8	Hednesford Town	40	15	8	17	62	65	-3	53
9	Worksop Town	40	13	12	15	59	62	-3	51
10	Ashton United	40	11	15	14	63	73	-10	48
11	Kendal Town	40	12	11	17	61	70	-9	47
12	Whitby Town	40	13	7	20	68	75	-7	46
13	Prescot Cables	40	13	8	19	48	62	-14	46
14	Frickley Athletic	40	11	13	16	50	68	-18	46
15	North Ferriby United	40	13	7	20	53	76	-23	46
16	Matlock Town	40	12	9	19	55	68	-13	45
17	Ilkeston Town	40	10	14	16	64	72	-8	44
18	Ossett Town	40	12	8	20	48	60	-12	44
19	Leek Town	40	11	11	18	54	68	-14	44
20	Stamford	40	11	10	19	59	86	-27	43
21	Lincoln United	40	7	8	25	44	85	-41	29

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2006/07Season - PROMOTED (& Cup Winners)

They've only lost 8 games in the last 2 seasons (05/06 & 06/07)!!

CHAMPIONS 2006/07!!!!!!!

+ They Won the Cup too!!!
23/04/07 - The Bucks picked up their fifth trophy in three seasons with a 3-1 victory over a plucky Wakefield side at the Silverlands on Monday night. (In the competition they first won when it was first competed for in 1982).

Here's the videoprinter confirmation of the result that saw Buxton promoted on 14 April 2007

15:00

720

Buxton

vs.

Stocksbridge Park Steels

Reed 90 (+2)

That win clinched their second successive Promotion (as Champions again!!!). Promoted from NCEL (Northern Counties Eastern League) in 2005/06 they now are CHAMPIONS of Unibond 1 (Northern Premier League First Division) and are now set to take their place in The Unibond Northern Premier League Premier Division in 2007/08.

720 was the highest crowd of the season in the division and Buxton's best in a league game since 1992/93 when 810 watched the match with Leek Town.

UniBond First Division 2006/2007 (14/04/07) - CONFIRMING PROMOTION

	Team Name	P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	Pts
1	Buxton	44	29	10	5	91	37	54	97
2	Eastwood Town	44	25	9	10	86	40	46	84
3	Cammell Laird	42	24	10	8	93	53	40	82
4	Bradford Park Avenue	42	22	8	12	74	46	28	74
5	Colwyn Bay	44	21	11	12	69	61	8	74
6	Stocksbridge Park Steels	44	21	10	13	77	45	32	73
7	Goole AFC	44	20	9	15	76	79	-3	69
8	Ossett Albion	43	19	11	13	68	58	10	68
9	Kidsgrove Athletic	43	20	7	16	84	73	11	67
10	Woodley Sports	43	18	11	14	85	66	19	65
11	Rossendale United	43	19	7	17	61	57	4	64
12	Bamber Bridge	44	17	8	19	73	70	3	59
13	Harrogate Railway Athletic	42	18	5	19	67	77	-10	59
14	Skelmersdale United	43	16	9	18	70	74	-4	57
15	Brigg Town	42	16	9	17	53	64	-11	57
16	Gresley Rovers	43	16	7	20	57	68	-11	55
17	Clitheroe	43	16	6	21	70	71	-1	54
18	Alsager Town	43	15	7	21	67	74	-7	52
19	Belper Town	43	15	4	24	51	80	-29	49
20	Shepshed Dynamo	43	14	6	23	59	90	-31	48
21	Wakefield FC	43	12	9	22	45	68	-23	45
22	Warrington Town	44	12	8	24	62	82	-20	44
23	Chorley	43	9	6	28	48	91	-43	33
24	Bridlington Town	42	3	13	26	29	91	-62	22

Their home, The Silverlands, is situated over 1000 feet above sea level, the Silverlands is the highest ground within the Pyramid of football and substantially higher than the highest Football League ground which is The Hawthorns built in 1900, standing at 551 feet above sea level. Next comes Vale Park (525 feet) and Boundary Park (509 feet) - Itz just like watching Costa Rica!