The Buckingham Hotel Buxton. Three star accommodation in the peak district (Latest News)

SMILEY STUFF

Archived News - Stuff that made us smile a long while back

Here's stuff that made a while back:

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From the The Caterer and Hotelkeeper's Vaults comes this tale of dark superstition, brought to light in the 17/4/07 issue:

Mr John Knight, son of a hotel proprietor at Netley Abbey, tried to break a sequence of thirteens by getting married on 14th April.

He and his bride Miss Audrey Taylor met just thirteen months ago, and when engaged went up to London on the thirteenth of last month (March) to buy furniture. They rode in a number thirteen railway carriage and left the train at platform thirteen at Waterloo. There were thirteen parcels of furniture, and the last of the packages arrived on thirteenth.

Mr and Mrs Knight thought they had dodged that thirteen on the 14th, but when they left the church they discovered there were thirteen in the bridal party

(Caterer & Hotelkeeper 17 April 1936 - no doubt the hotel got balmed for that!!!!)
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This Week's NHS Update:

A man in a hospital bed & wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth & nose.

"Nurse" he mumbles, "Are my testicles Black"?

Nurse raises his hospital gown & holds his man hood in one hand & his testicles in the other hand, she takes a close look and says, "There is nothing wrong with them sir".

Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly "Thanks for that it was wonderful, but listen very closely and very carefully........

ARE-MY-TEST-RESULTS-BACK??
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Even Worse than The Chuckle Brothers: NO APPETITE FOR ETIQUETTE

A new survey from the Queens’ College Catering and Conferences has revealed that some diners are lacking when it comes to knowing how to behave in a formal situation. Most scored when it came to the basics – eg, 87% knew their bread plate is on the left (they just didn’t know which side was their left!!) and 80% knew how to eat soup properly (tip the bowl away and spoon towards the back of the bowl since you ask).

But many were stumped when it came to how to eat spaghetti (twirl on a fork on the edge of the plate) or bread a roll (break bit by bit, and butter as you go). Fortunately, help is at hand from Pietro Ferri, dining etiquette expert at Queens’ College (you knew he’d have a name like that).

Mr F then tells us that a wine glass shud never be more than half-filled (otherwise itz considered rude…think most wud take the contrary view!). He also says

“If a lady gets up ‘to powder her nose’, the male host should stand up as she does and do the same on her return”.

- which cud explain why Kate Moss’s other half Pete Doherty is so skinny – he’s never got time to eat his food as he’s up n down all evening!

(sourced from Caterer & Hotelkeeper 5/4/07 – they also provided the Charlie punchline…sniff, sniff!)

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Royals Mad

Their home, The Silverlands, is situated over 1000 feet above sea level, the Silverlands is the highest ground within the Pyramid of football and substantially higher than the highest Football League ground which is The Hawthorns built in 1900, standing at 551 feet above sea level. Next comes Vale Park (525 feet) and Boundary Park (509 feet) - Itz just like watching Costa Rica!